Signal Failure

Well, my last newsletter, umpteen weeks ago, was a moan about declining readership. Then I went silent for ages. I’m aware probably looks like I was off on a massive sulk. Far from it!

First, everyone was LOVELY. The number of kind emails I received were really touching. I really wasn’t feeling sorry for myself - honest! I’m aware that newsletters, like podcasts, are notoriously non-transparent. Given the state of the internet (RIP), I think owned channels are all the more important, especially those (like newsletters) that don’t rely on an algorithmic intermediary for discovery.

The problem is, it is very, very hard to measure what ‘good’ means in this space. As with all other ‘businesses’ (especially content and double-especially online content), the only stories you can find are stories of unabashed success: ‘I started a newsletter and now I have 80,000 subscribers and live in Hampstead’. There isn’t a lot of ‘I’ve been flailing for two years and mostly it is my family and a dozen strangers still confused about the lack of to dinosaurs’. ‘I’ve plateaued at relative mediocrity - AMA!’

Anyway, as someone firmly occupying the most mid of middle ground, I thought it’d be interesting to share what middling looks like. It mids! That’s ok!

First-and-two, I’m actually not sure how (if?) to escape said middling. I’m not going to lie: having 80,000 subscribers would be lovely. Mostly for my ego, but also because it’d make a sexxxy-ass platform for pitching and selling other projects. But I have very few other channels with which to fuel this one: my social media is pared back to nothing, and my work doesn’t really condone rampant self-promotion. Starting another channel solely to fuel newsletter growth sounds like turtles all the way down.

First-and-three, Beehiiv, at the free level (hi!), is pretty bare bones. It absolutely does what it should do, which I appreciate. And it isn’t trying to canoodle itself into being a social media platform, which was part of my issue with Substack (the other part being Nazis, but, to be fair, they seem to have gotten past that awkward adolescence). But a lot of the nice to haves - custom domains, website design - are at the paid level, which is, I think $49/month. That’s a pretty hefty commitment. Once you hit 2,500 subscribers, you have to upgrade. In my head, I was waiting for that point, because I think that volume does justify the investment. But I can’t see that happening. Maybe with access to their advertising features, but those are only available at the paid level, so… (Were I beehiiv, I’d probably cut that particular Gordian knot by allowing partial access to advertising features. If they’re confident that the features work, it’d be in everyone’s best interest! But presumably they don’t want their in-line ad inventory flooded with crap, which, again, fair enough.)

First-and-four, this is not my only newsletter! Shelfies is, of course, going well. What Shelfies has going for it (see 1.2, above) is an Instagram account. (To be clear: Meta’s a noxious, toxic presence and it pains me to use any of their products. I’ve somewhat rationalised it because I think Shelfies is a tiny force for good, but, let’s be clear: I hate myself.) @shelfies.please didn’t send any subscribers to the newsletter at first, but there seems to have been be a tipping point, and it now sends a few new subscribers each week. That’s pretty small, but I’m interested to see if that continues and/or scales.

First-and-five, speaking of Meta being a noxious, toxic presence, has anyone else clocked the title of Nick Clegg’s new book? Clegg’s spent the last seven years as Meta’s Global VP of Whitewashing and Distraction. In case you were hiding under the floorboards, his period of service includes such highlights as denying Russian electoral interference, burying Facebook’s role in the Rohignya genocide, lying about pernicious misinformation and polarisation, maligning whistleblowers, overseeing and ending fact checking ahead of the 2024 election, and - as a swan song - defending the rollback of hate speech protections in January 2025.

Clegg’s doing a reputational recovery tour now that he’s departing Meta, and his messianic book is clearly part of that. But let’s be clear: he’s already made 19 million pounds from Meta, and has at least that much still tied up in shares. When he makes grand pronouncements about weakening AI protections for the creative sector - six months after Meta got caught scraping its own users, the broader internet, and 7.5 million pirated books - he’s still serving the same same master: his dividentds.

Nick Clegg is an expert on ‘how to save the internet’, in the same way that a fox knows exactly how to save chickens. But at the tick-carpeted vermin that scrounge Morley’s bags from my bin at least have the common decency not boast about it.

ANYWAY, the second reason this newsletter is so behind: I’ve been busy - see below. And given that the newsletter was in a, um, liminal state, I took the opportunity to park it for a bit so I could deliver a few other bits and pieces. One of the reasons I prefer not to (and recommend not to) professionalise (all) my hobbies is that it is like juggling. And sometimes you need to let one of those balls hit the ground. Best when your balls only belong to you and other people aren’t waiting on them and oh god my analogy game is really troubling today.

some BBQ hijinks

Obviously the update you were all waiting for!

Perdido Street Bacon had their first outing as a competitive BBQ team at The Whole Hog Competition (part of the Malton Food and Drink Festival). We did surprisingly well in some categories (sausage! pulled pork! mystery box!) and embarrassingly poorly in others (my ribs went wrong). The overall result was the most mid-table of finishes, and we’re really proud. Paul and I spent months prepping and practicing. Months! There’s a spreadsheet!!!

We had so much fun that, when the opportunity arose, we did it again two weeks later, at the UK BBQ Championships at Hayle’s Fruit Farm. Despite the prestigious title, this was a smaller competition… but also a much more ruthless one: we were the only BBQ rookies, and up against an amazing mix of international teams and British legends. And we middled it AGAIN, with great results in the burger and ‘non-meat’ rounds. (We also had a chance to judge, as there was a separate, KCBS competition happening the following day. That was some good eatin’.)

There’s a longer write-up lurking about, but - in short - this was an absolutely brilliant time. The BBQ community were immensely welcoming, we made a lot of new friends and picked up some new skills. PSB will ride again.

some non-BBQ hijinks

I was given the challenge of choosing the ‘five best Cyberpunk novels’ by Five Books. I fell back on the timeless strategy of pummeling a straw man, in this case, the (fairly well-debunked) notion that ‘cyberpunk is dead’. The five works were all published between Neuromancer (inclusive) and now, demonstrating how the genre has been doing nicely thank-you-very-much.

I also, I now realise, included one novella and one collection amongst the ‘novels’. All things considered, I was terrible at following the brief. It was a lot of fun: being interviewed will never get old, and being interviewed really, really well is a joy.

For true cyberpunk enthusiasts, last year’s panel at Bradford Literature Festival - featuring Lauren Beukes, EJ Swift and myself - is now available as a podcast. My memory being what it is, I don’t remember too much of what we said. Lauren and Emma were clever, Lauren hated my t-shirt, and I think the audience asked better questions than I did. Typical panel, really. (More on Bradford below.)

Not sure the last time I shared one of these, but Anne and I continue our ‘In The Weeds’ column for ParSec, tilting at all our favourite publishing windmills. Issue #12 saw us saying goodbye to The Kitschies and talking about when and why institutions should call it day. Issue #13’s contribution is about the power of ‘tropes’ and, more broadly, the rise of romantasy.

Outside of the publishing world - a couple of interesting presentations as well: a Pitch Perfect-themed presentation about, er, pitching for Bethnal Green Ventures (dad-joke gone awry, I’m afraid) and a couple of talks about misinformation (fewer Anne Kendrick references).

Finally, I’ve joined the Commission for the Future of Inclusion and Belonging in Multi-ethnic Newham as one of the expert commissioners (bonus: also a Newham resident). This is an independent body, that will be conducting research and providing recommendations to the Mayor of Newham. We’re not a shy group, and I look forward to exploring the findings with the other experts and residents.

what’s coming up

I’ll be at the Bradford Literature Festival this weekend! I am, as always, immensely excited by my annual pilgrimage to great food. I mean culture. (But also food.)

The programme is out now, and I’ll be chairing four different literary events:

• Witchy Reads with Kirsty Logan, Dr Michael Stewart and Molly Aitken

• Writing Castlevania Nocture with Testament and Clive Bradley

• Haunted Histories with Shubnum Khan and Genevieve Cogman

• Surveillance States with Professor Hassan Ugail and Jake Hurfurt

I’ll also be chairing a session on creative technology at the Creative Economic Conference - and wandering about as many of the other panels as I can! If you see me, please say hi. I’ll undoubtedly be stuffing my face, but am always happy to chat!

Looking much further ahead, I’ll be in LA and San Francisco in late July: if you need a specialist hand-waver to hand-wave about cyberpunk (or BBQ) (or misinformation), please get in touch!